How to Write a Eulogy

Benjamin Shafer • Dec 19, 2023
Often, when we lose a loved one, an important part of the healing process is reflecting on the life they lived. A memorial gathering is an opportunity to honor and pay tribute to your loved one’s many accomplishments and unique personality. A eulogy is a lovely way to share fond memories about your loved one that you cherish and hold dear — helping to create a lasting legacy. It’s also an opportunity to express your feelings of deep gratitude and unending love.

What is a eulogy?
A heartfelt speech that pays tribute to your loved one, a eulogy tells the story of their life and shares what they meant to their friends and family. A eulogy may be delivered at a funeral service, a celebration of life or a graveside ceremony. Eulogies are normally given by family members and close friends. Religious leaders and coworkers may also be invited to share their memories of your loved one.

Eulogy vs. obituary
Compared with an obituary, a eulogy is much more personal and reflective. An obituary is an announcement that usually follows a particular template or outline. A eulogy tends to be more personal and can contain a funny story, cherished memories or an emotional reflection. Depending on who is giving the eulogy, the stories are completely unique to the relationship and the bond shared with your loved one.

How to start a eulogy
Get started by doing a little research about your loved one — the place they were born, what they were like as a child and events in their family life as an adult. Discover what they accomplished in their lifetime. Learn about barriers they may have overcome. Explore their life passions and hobbies. Find out what their family and friends cherished about them. Ask people about the impact they felt your loved one made on those around them. Sharing these memories and impressions can be an uplifting and essential part of the grieving process for all involved.

Be sure to write your eulogy down. You may be nervous or grief-stricken at the funeral, and it may be difficult to remember the details you wanted to share. It can be helpful to print it out in large font in case you get tearful while reading. If you’re not comfortable getting up and speaking in front of a crowd, you could ask a friend or family member to read your eulogy for you.

How long should a eulogy be?
Don’t worry — you aren’t expected to write a novel. You can keep it simple and short. Just share one or two of your favorite memories about your loved one. A eulogy is typically about 5 to 10 minutes long. If this seems daunting to you, ask your loved one’s friends, coworkers or other family members to share in the experience of crafting the eulogy.

How to personalize a eulogy
The details you include in the eulogy will make it unique and reflective of your loved one’s personality. Did they have a great sense of humor? You can share one or two of their favorite jokes. Was your loved one dependable and generous? Share what their relationship meant to you and others. Were they extremely driven and motivated? Expound on their values and accomplishments.

What to include
You can make it lighthearted or somber — whichever you prefer. A eulogy is typically informally written. Imagine you’re talking to a close friend. You may want to touch on some or all of these topics:
  • An overview of their life story and milestones
  • Relationships with family, friends and coworkers
  • Volunteer work and career accomplishments
  • Hobbies, interests and talents
  • Their favorite stories, poems, songs or quotes
  • The impact they had on the lives surrounding them
  • A thank you to guests for coming to offer condolences
Remember to keep the eulogy positive. Sharing a eulogy is an opportunity to reflect on uplifting memories.

Eulogy for your parents
A eulogy for either of your parents will, above all, touch on the many ways they cared for you. If you’re writing a eulogy for your mother, you can emphasize her accomplishments, her wonderful attributes and the way she impacted those around her. How did she positively influence and support you? Likewise, a eulogy for your father could be an opportunity to share the things you cherished about his personality, character and achievements. How did he encourage and nurture you? In what ways was he a role model?

Eulogy for a sibling
When writing a eulogy for your sibling, you may want to share funny anecdotes or silly arguments you had as children. Reflect on how your relationship changed as you matured and grew up together. Explain some of the common bonds you had and the experiences that you’ll always remember.

Eulogy for a grandparent
You may have fond memories of your grandparent from your childhood. You could share some of your favorite stories, wisdom passed down from your grandma or how you’ll miss your grandpa’s famous cookies. These lovely stories will help you connect with your audience, who likely have similar memories of your grandparent.

Practicing your eulogy
When you’ve finished writing your eulogy, you’ll want to practice reading it aloud. Try presenting the eulogy to a friend or family member before deliver it. Ask for feedback so you can edit accordingly, making sure the details are understandable and accurately reflect your loved one’s personality.

When you’re nervous, you’ll likely read faster. Focus on reading it slowly. Pause briefly between details so that guests have time to reflect.

A eulogy provides closure
Above all, don’t worry about performing the eulogy perfectly. Your audience understands that you are grieving a loss, and they are there to support you. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with the memories. A eulogy can help provide much-needed closure and comfort to you and your audience, both children and adults. Remembering your loved one and sharing their singular qualities with others helps commemorate and honor their legacy.

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By Benjamin Shafer 02 Mar, 2024
Planning a funeral for a loved one is an emotionally charged experience, often compounded by the burden of financial considerations. Understanding the average cost of funerals in the United States can help ease some of that burden and guide informed decision-making during this sensitive time. The Bottom Line: According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral in the United States in 2024 was approximately $9,150. This figure includes the basic services of funeral homes, embalming, and a casket, but excludes additional costs like cemetery plots, monuments, and death certificates. A Breakdown of Costs: Funeral Home Services: This encompasses basic services like coordinating arrangements, directing the funeral, and providing staff and facilities. It typically ranges from $2,000 to $4,000. Embalming: Embalming preserves the body and is required by law in some cases. It adds $700 to $1,500 to the cost. Casket: Caskets can vary widely in price depending on the material, style, and features. The median cost falls between $2,500 and $6,000. Cemetery Plot and Vault: The cost of a cemetery plot can vary significantly depending on location and availability. It typically ranges from $2,000 to $10,000, and a concrete vault adds another $1,500 to $3,000. Factors Affecting Cost: Several factors can influence the overall cost of a funeral, including: Location: Funeral costs tend to be higher in urban areas compared to rural ones. Type of service: Traditional burials with embalming and viewing are more expensive than cremation, which typically costs $6,280 on average. Casket choice: As mentioned earlier, casket material and features significantly impact the price. Cemetery fees: Plot location, size, and opening/closing fees can vary greatly. Additional services: Flowers, catering, transportation, and personalized touches add to the overall cost. Cost-Saving Tips: Shop around: Compare prices from different funeral homes and cemeteries. Consider cremation: Cremation is generally less expensive than traditional burial. Choose a simpler casket: Opt for a more affordable material or forego features you don't need. Pre-plan your funeral: Discussing and planning your wishes in advance can help your family save money and make informed decisions. Remember: The average cost of a funeral is just a starting point. By understanding the breakdown of costs and considering your individual needs and preferences, you can make informed choices that align with your budget and values. Additional Resources: National Funeral Directors Association: https://www.nfda.org/: https://www.nfda.org/ Funeral Consumers Alliance: https://www.funerals.org/: https://www.funerals.org/ The Cremation Association of North America: https://www.cremationassociation.org/: https://www.cremationassociation.org/
By Benjamin Shafer 18 Feb, 2024
For each year that passes, funeral expenses get more expensive. In fact, you can pay upwards of $10,000 for a funeral today. Missouri prices can be slightly less, depending on the style of service you choose, the means of transportation you use, where you decide to hold the funeral, and which memorial expenses you include. But even funerals in Missouri can reach that amount, and these high prices can cause your loved ones to struggle if they’re left to pay your funeral costs. That’s why so many people are planning their funerals in advance. They don’t want their loved ones to experience financial stress because of the cost of their final arrangements. They’re looking for ways to pay for their funeral to help alleviate the burden. And some options allow you to leave enough money to pay for your funeral as well as other final expenses such as a car payment balance, utility bills, and medical expenses. One option is final expense insurance. Depending on the payout amount you choose, the policy could pay for some or all of these things. You’ll experience a few differences when buying final expense insurance in Missouri compared to other states. We’ll guide you through the process and show you how Funeral Advantage can help make it easier for your loved ones after you’re gone. The Funeral Rule Federal law dictates basic laws surrounding burial services. Known as the Funeral Rule, these rules apply to every state and are enforced by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). Pricing – Funeral homes must quote prices for products and services over the phone if requested. In person, they must provide a general price list, a casket price list, and a burial container price list (when applicable). Contracts – An itemized statement of charges and estimates must be provided before a contract is signed. Pre-Need Funeral Plans – FTC laws do not apply to the language of pre-need contracts. They do not govern payment options, costs, modifications, transfers, cancellations, or administrative fees. Funeral & Burial Expectations in Missouri Each state has different laws and requirements that govern what happens when someone dies and Missouri is no exception. The state has specific statutes that you will have to follow when someone dies. Death Certificates Missouri has a two-step process for certifying a death, requiring first a medical certification and then a death certificate. The state allows coroners, medical examiners, physicians, physician assistants, assistant physicians, and advanced practice registered nurses to issue medical certifications. The certifier must complete the document within 72 hours of the death. To complete the certification, they use an electronic program called the Missouri Vital Records Electronic system (MoEVR) to file the certificates. The system also allows any of the above-named people to assign the task of entering the medical certification into the electronic system to someone else, such as a funeral director or someone else who has been approved as a data entry person. Once the death is medically certified, the funeral director completes the death certificate. They do this with help from the deceased’s family and the physician. In cases where a funeral director is not involved, the doctor (or other medical professional who recorded the medical certification) typically completes the death certificate. This step can only happen after the original certifier electronically signs the certification. If you work with a funeral director, they can request copies of the death certificate for you, or your family can request one. Embalming & Refrigeration Missouri has some regulations when it comes to embalming and refrigeration. Once a person is deceased for 24 hours, the state requires that the body is refrigerated or embalmed. This is not Missouri law, but rather a regulation that all Missouri licensed funeral homes must abide by. If you plan for a home funeral, this regulation does not apply. However, there are some circumstances in which Missouri requires a deceased person to be embalmed. They are: If someone dies of an infectious disease and won’t be buried or cremated within 24 hours. If a person dies of a contagious disease and is shipped by common carrier. This regulation isn’t true if the shipper wraps the body in a sheet saturated with disinfectant and places it in a sealed casket. If the deceased person is shipped by common carrier but won’t reach the destination for 24 hours or more. This regulation becomes null if that person travels in a sealed casket. Burial Requirements In Missouri, a person does not have to be placed in a casket when buried. But it’s important that you check with the cemetery because they all have different rules. Like most other states, Missouri specifies who can make the burial arrangements for a deceased person. The state allows these individuals to make the decisions, in this order: Your appointed attorney to whom you have granted a durable power of attorney Your surviving spouse Any of your surviving children Any surviving parent Surviving siblings The next of kin A person who is willing to assume financial responsibility The county coroner or medical examiner If a disagreement arises, the funeral director is allowed to use the instructions of any in the deciding party. For instance, if siblings can’t come to a decision, the funeral director can choose which sibling’s instructions to carry out. Cremation Services Missouri allows cremation as long as the funeral director receives two signed documents. The first is a cremation authorization signed by the spouse, a majority of the deceased’s children, a parent, or a legal guardian. The second document is the death certificate, signed by the doctor and filed with the County Health Department. Alternatively, cremation can occur if the medical examiner or coroner releases the deceased for cremation. In addition to traditional cremation, Missouri allows alkaline hydrolysis. This chemical process dissolves the body into liquid and bone and is greener than traditional cremation because no matter enters the air. It is also called flameless cremation. Average Funeral Costs in Missouri Final expenses in Missouri vary widely, from an average as low as $1,000 up to $12,445. The exact cost of a funeral will depend on what services and products you choose.
By Benjamin Shafer 15 Feb, 2024
No one likes to think about their own mortality, but planning for the inevitable is an important part of life. Final expense life insurance can help ease the financial burden on your loved ones when you pass away by providing them with funds to cover your final expenses, such as funeral costs, medical bills, and outstanding debts. What is Final Expense Life Insurance? Final expense life insurance is a whole life insurance policy designed to cover your end-of-life expenses. Unlike traditional life insurance policies, which can have high premiums and large death benefits, final expense policies typically have lower premiums and death benefits in the range of $5,000 to $30,000. This makes them an affordable option for people who want to ensure their loved ones are not left with a financial burden after they pass away. Who Needs Final Expense Life Insurance? Final expense life insurance is a good option for anyone who wants to: Protect their loved ones from financial hardship: Funeral costs, medical bills, and other end-of-life expenses can add up quickly. Final expense life insurance can help your loved ones cover these costs without having to dip into their own savings or take on debt. Leave a legacy: If you have any outstanding debts or want to leave a gift to your loved ones, final expense life insurance can help you do that. Gain peace of mind: Knowing that your final expenses are covered can give you and your loved ones peace of mind. How Much Coverage Do I Need? The amount of final expense life insurance coverage you need will depend on your individual circumstances. Some factors to consider include: The cost of your funeral: Funeral costs can vary depending on your location and preferences. Any outstanding debts you have: If you have any outstanding debts, such as credit card debt or a mortgage, you may want to consider getting enough coverage to pay them off. Whether you want to leave a legacy: If you want to leave a gift to your loved ones, you will need to factor that into your coverage amount. How to Choose a Final Expense Life Insurance Policy When choosing a final expense life insurance policy, it is important to shop around and compare rates and features from different companies. Here are some things to consider: The death benefit: This is the amount of money that will be paid to your beneficiaries upon your death. The premium: This is the amount you will pay each month for your coverage. The underwriting requirements : Some companies may have stricter underwriting requirements than others. This means they may require you to take a medical exam or answer questions about your health history. The benefits and exclusions: Some policies may offer additional benefits, such as accidental death coverage or waiver of premium riders. Be sure to read the policy carefully to understand what is and is not covered. Final Thoughts Final expense life insurance can be a valuable tool for helping your loved ones cope with the financial burden of your death. By taking the time to understand your needs and shop around for the right policy, you can ensure that your loved ones are taken care of when you are gone. Tips for Planning Your Funeral In addition to considering final expense life insurance, here are a few tips for planning your funeral: Talk to your loved ones about your wishes: Let your loved ones know what your preferences are for your funeral, such as whether you want a traditional burial or cremation. Pre-plan your funeral: You can pre-plan your funeral and even pay for it in advance. This can help take some of the stress off of your loved ones at a difficult time. Create a will: A will is a legal document that outlines your wishes for how your assets will be distributed after you die. By taking the time to plan ahead, you can help ensure that your loved ones are taken care of after you are gone.
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